I'm such a loser.

I missed the bus to go Ski-ing. I am gutted.


Two trips to the ski hire shop in one day to ensure the best ski boot fit. Running around buying special insoles to help with that. My sandwiches made , my ipod charged, tissues and vaseline in my ski jacket pocket, camera,...

I set the alarm for 5,30 am to get the bus at 6.40pm. I woke three times in the night and then thought, in what seemed like the early hours.. I'll just check my alarm again. 6.55am. On no.

What happenened?...Last thing last night... I dropped my phone and it came apart. I had to reset all the settings. I had mistakenly set it for 12 hours later.

I'm now so angry at myself, I've been punishing myself with cleaning and filing since 7 am. I must face everyone who I told I was going... I feel such a fool.

My karma drives me nuts.

When in Rome....

Im off ski-ing on Sunday- just for the day. Mayeb I'll meet all the Lyonnais who are clearly not here at the weekends. It's a ghost town here in winter

I’m terrified as it's been six years since I’ve been and I'm so unfit. Last time was pretty difficult and now six years and two stone further on…..However, I want to conquer my fear of the slopes and one of the advantages of going alone is that you don’t have to keep up with anyone. I can take it very slowly on the baby runs. I think taking it slowly on the green runs was probably the last time I actually ever really enjoyed ski-ing. I need to decide if I finally actually really hate it or not. I bought a whole ski outfit for 30 euros in a charity shop so I've not much to lose and i'm going with a company that do day trips from Lyon. (The other participants will be about 17 and snowboarders) Any way---- as long as I don’t come home in an ambulance…

Nothing happening on the man front. Wonder if it ever happen again. Pissed off that my time is up at 46 but I guess one has to accept it at some point. It is prob never easy. Oh why can't I force myself to go out with ugly balding grey men? Life might be a lot easier. My tits are beginning to look susupiciously like my Nans. If I ever feeel like im missing her- I need only to take my bra off, get my grey thermal vest on and watch a bit of telly.

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